It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I have fence marks all over my body
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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