She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize