their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
