White coat. Heels.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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