Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
from now on my penis is your penis
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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