hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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