so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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