So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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