Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
