Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
