fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
