after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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