No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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