you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
