you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
