My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
