you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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