just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
