ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
