I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
