It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
