is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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