Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
