The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
