Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
