What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize