I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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