I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
