I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
