What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
