Sponge bath it is.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize