Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
