she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
