part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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