In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
