I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
