Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
