if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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