i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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