your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
His nipple licking is glorious
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