So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
