I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just had sex on a roof
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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