stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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