She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
