from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
