i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
