Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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