im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
