the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
