I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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