I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
