I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
