I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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