Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
