I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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