Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
