best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
