ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
They took my balls.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
