ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
