your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
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