look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
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