I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
