I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
