talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
