She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
