thus making me awesome and them whores
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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