onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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